Afraid of Public Speaking? Get Over It

Carolyn DicksonPosted by Carolyn Dickson on June 14th, 2010 | 0 Comments

Cocktail hour had come and gone, dinner was over, and I had just finished my talk. I was pretty pleased with myself. People had laughed at my humorous stories. They had paid close attention to the points I was making. And I had had a good time. Not too shabby, I told myself, for a presentation on how to give a business presentation.

I was getting ready to leave when a woman came up to me. “Oh, that was so wonderful,” she gushed. “I just don’t know how you do it. I could never give a speech, I’m just too afraid, I know I would die right on the spot.”

Okay, so maybe they hadn’t paid such close attention. I had just delivered a talk on how to become a confident, dynamic speaker. Yet here she was, incapable of entertaining the thought of doing it herself.

The fear of public speaking is still high on the list of universal fears. Once people have experienced a bad case of stage fright, they are terrified of ever being in that position again. So the fear of being afraid takes hold, and paralysis sets in. This does not have to be. At VoicePro® we have been remarkably successful in helping workshop participants get over their fears—from nervous jitters to outright panic. Here’s how you can do it too.

Pay attention to your audience.

The biggest mistake speakers make is that they are more concerned about their own fate than that of the people in the audience. Here are some of the thoughts that go through the minds of uptight speakers: How am I doing? What if I screw up in front of my peers? Am I succeeding? Am I failing?

Notice how all these thoughts focus back in on self. When your major concern is for your own well-being, the pressure builds, and you feel more and more out of control.

Instead, turn your attention to your audience. Ask yourself what information you have that will be of benefit to them. How can you help them be better at their jobs? Look at them. See them as individuals. The more you think about the other guy, the less time and energy you will have worrying about yourself.

Be ready.

Preparation is another important component in the fight against stage fright. Organize your thoughts into a key word outline (see VoicePro’s Persuasive Model). Keep it conversational. Use short sentences and small words. I once coached an executive whose opening sentence, which he read from a manuscript, contained 67 words. It was no wonder he started off on the wrong foot and went downhill from there.

I can’t stress enough the value of practice. Often business speakers creat their PowerPoint slides, close their laptop, and think they’re ready. Not so. A couple of out-loud run-throughs before an imaginary audience will allow you to get your stumbles out of the way in rehearsal, paving the way for a smooth effort when performance time comes.

Breathe.

At VoicePro®, we place great emphasis on breathing. It helps quell the jitters when the stakes are high and you need superior communication and speaking skills.

Breath is the magic ingredient in every performance discipline, from speaking to dance to professional sports to the martial arts. Deep breathing keeps the blood flowing. It calms the nerves and improves your ability to think on your feet. It grounds and anchors you, so your hands don’t shake and your voice doesn’t wobble.

Relax your muscles.

Tight muscles are a result of the flight-or-fight response, which is the body’s involuntary response to perceived life-threatening danger. But even though we may feel like it, giving a business presentation isn’t actually life threatening, so we need to work against the tendency to tighten up.

Stretching exercises work well, as well as loosening movements such as arm swings, shoulder shrugs, and overall body shakes. Actors loosen up before a performance and athletes loosen up before competition. Business speakers could do worse than emulate their professional counterparts.

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Do you have the leadership skills for managing change? (Change Management Part 2)

Leslie DicksonPosted by Leslie Dickson on June 8th, 2010 | 0 Comments

In part one; I talked about the communication skills for managing change. Now I want to explore how leadership skills play into creating the content of those communications to help reach and inspire people to success.

One of the points I mentioned before was that people want to know why a change is taking place. It’s easy to think about the more literal response to that question. “It will save money.” “It will help us respond faster.”  “It will open up a new market.” Or, in these tough times, the answer is often, “It’ll help us hang on until the economy turns around.” Those answers aren’t enough. They aren’t enough to qualm fears. They aren’t enough to build buy-in. They aren’t enough to inspire belief and action.

Getting to positive change requires communication skills, powered by leadership skills. Let me explain. All of us are rational and emotional beings – and we bring both those outlooks to the workplace. Transformational leadership requires us to connect with both. The rational mind responds to goals. The emotional mind responds to vision. The two must be interconnected and both must be communicated for successful change. Why?  

  • Goals appeal to our intellect. Vision engages us. Goals tell us what we need to do, what the changes will require of us. But that’s just the beginning. Vision brings meaning to the change, captures our imagination for the good that could come from it. 
  • Goals give us timeframes and results. Vision shows us our future. Always, the logical mind wants and needs the specifics of goals. Vision helps us soar above the everyday to see the big-picture possibilities.
  • Goals drive performance. Vision inspires. We want to understand the standards by which we’ll be measured and rewarded. But vision asks us to think for ourselves and empowers us to find ways to expand upon it.
  • Goals solve problems. Vision opens possibilities. For example, goals say, “Reduce customer wait time by 20%”.  Vision says, “Delight customers by easing the stress of their time-crunched days.” 
  • Goals are concrete, written. Vision is a living story to be internalized. One you pull up and access on your computer. The other you carry in your mind.

Chances are, you already have skills and training in goal-setting. So, I want to focus on visioning here. Where do you start? You’ll need to do the same thing you’re going to be asking your team to do. Think beyond the current actions to the future.  What does “good” look like? What will a day be like when the change is in full force? What will be the response from customers? How will they write the article on your success in the Harvard Business Review? Gather those mental images for your vision story. Then think about how you want to characterize the vision. Are you on a mission? Is it a battle? A quest? Is it a marathon or a sprint? Is it art or science? Are you creating or conquering? Now build your thoughts into your story, filling it out with details that tie it to the everyday experience. 

Here’s a crucial reminder. Your goals – and especially your vision – may be most important when the changes you’re facing are triggered by “bad” news. Downsizing, financial reorganization or the departure of a key leader can scar a company’s performance for a very long time if not approached correctly. Without being a Pollyanna, you need to focus on the positive future. Not the pain, but the gain. Try to set goals within a positive framework. Define your vision, not in terms of loss, but of the open door. Once you have your messages in place, communicate them often, in as many ways as you can. Update the vision with success stories. Share goals reached. And, when necessary, recalibrate. 

Change is a reality in today’s world. To be a true leader you need to go beyond managing change to empowering it.

Image by David Reece
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Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life

Leslie DicksonPosted by Leslie Dickson on June 7th, 2010 | 0 Comments

Last weekend I went whitewater rafting with my sister, her husband and another friend. We went on the middle Gauley River in West Virginia. The Gauley is one of the premier whitewater rivers in the country, but the water was on the low side, so we expected an easy day of great weather and beautiful scenery.

Be prepared with clear expectations.

Claire and I were in a boat called a shredder. It has two side tubes that you sit on, with your feet on the “floor” of the boat. With Claire on one side and me on the other, we paddled our way down the river. Claire has boated on the Gauley and New Rivers for 25 years. She guided rafting trips for many of those years, so she knows the twists and turns well. She also knows the power of the rapids—and the danger that goes with it. With that knowledge comes an intense respect for the river—and a lot of dread too.

Me? My boating has been filled with joy and excitement—and total ignorance. I had never been thrown out of a raft and forced to swim through a rapid. Until you do, you have not truly experienced the full impact of a white water river trip, so you might say my brain had only tapped into the positive side of rafting.

My cautious sister, on the other hand, has the negative side of rafting imbedded in her brain. She has swum most of the challenging rapids, and she knows what it’s like to get thrown out of a boat when you least expect it. Boulders and swirling eddies await the unwary swimmer. On that beautiful day, when I looked over at Claire, she would be staring downstream . . . holding her breath. When I looked downstream, it didn’t look all that dreadful to me.

When I asked what was up, she said, “Can’t you hear that?” The sound was the next rapid coming up. This seemed like more fun and excitement to me. For Claire, however, it signaled time to think about what was ahead and how to navigate a rapid that she knew well, but that might have a surprise or two in store. (This is what made my sister a sought-after rafting guide. She knew what she was doing and didn’t take unnecessary chances.)

Turn negatives into positives

On that glorious day of rafting, I did have my first rapid swim. I got thrown out of the boat so fast that I didn’t have time to worry about what might happen to me in the water. The worst part was the egg on my shin where my leg hit a boulder. But I didn’t die. I popped up downstream, got back into the boat and thought, Excellent, now I don’t need to worry about swimming again because I just did. If and when it happens again, I will handle it.

How do you want to move through your life? Check in and monitor your thoughts. Are they positive or negative? Do you want to avoid the experiences of life because of what might happen? Or do you want to enjoy the excitement of what’s coming around the bend? My choice is to deal with what is at hand, and deal with what might happen when it happens. If I spend my life in dread, and the dreadful things don’t happen, what an enormous waste of time. I would much rather be joyful.

Make your choice

How you move through your world can be joyous or full of dread. Experience and knowledge is powerful. It will make you a great boater, as long as it doesn’t paralyze you. My sister doesn’t stop boating because of what might happen. She has too much skill for that. She just needs a gentle reminder to keep breathing.

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