Relax…It’s just a Converstation

Luanne PaynickPosted by Luanne Paynick on March 15th, 2010 | 0 Comments

Public speaking is number one on people’s list of fears, according to the 1977 Book of Lists. A more recent listing by Self Help Collective puts it at number two on the list, closely followed by fear of heights, darkness, intimacy and death. (According to this poll, number one is the fear of flying.)

Why does the fear of speaking rank so high? When people are asked to speak in front of a live audience, alarming thoughts can quickly surface: “What will they think of me?”  “Will I be good enough?” “They’re judging me, so I must be perfect.” “I’ve got to get it right, or I’ll…fall apart…never be successful…ruin my career…be hated by everyone…look stupid…FAIL….” And on and on and on. When you choose to think about something as benign as public speaking in this manner, the impact is not good – for your desired outcome, for your audience, or for yourself.

Thoughts like these rarely help. In fact, they work against you. Before you know it, you’re in a fight-or-flight mode – your heart rate quickens, your breath gets shallow and high, your palms sweat, you start to fidget, you shake, you talk way too fast, etc. The most upsetting outcome is that you are at your absolute worst at a time when you need to be at your best.

If you find yourself reacting like this, you can follow the steps VoicePro® recommends in its programs. You can breathe deeply (pushing your first breath out, followed by a deep breath in). Focus on your audience–really seeing them–will also make a difference. If you do what it takes to prepare sufficiently for the interaction, which is often half the battle, you will feel ready and raring to go. This will lead to a less anxious and fearful you.

But the above actions are just that – actions. It’s said that if you don’t like the results of what you’re doing, do something different. And though that may be true to some degree, actions alone won’t have the impact you desire  when you get up to give a presentation. So I suggest that, in addition, you do something about those debilitating thoughts that cause you so much trouble. You approach the entire event by reframing how you think about it.

Original Thinking

New Thinking
This is a presentation. This is a conversation. I’m talking to people, not a group of judges.
I need to be perfect. I am here to meet a need that people have. They don’t care if I’m perfect or not.
It’s important that I get my “stuff” right. It’s important that I make a personal connection with these people.

 

With your new thinking you’ll rid yourself of fear and anxiety. You’ll experience “new” emotions such as enjoyment, anticipation, and a sense of belonging. You’ll feel supportive and helpful, not preachy. The presence of these new feelings will be all you need to overcome what you fear the most.


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